Thursday, June 22, 2017

You Know You Have Mast Cell Disease When...

Do you have Mast Cell Disease? Yes? Welcome to the club. I wish I could say it is a cool club to belong to because it most definitely is not. However, joining it does make you privy to a new way of life. That is, the life of the allergic with reactions to foods, chemical scents, and who knows what.

Life with Mast Cell Disease is challenging. It is not entirely bad though. Antihistamines, epinephrine, and a daily dose of humor inevitably saves the day. So, you know you have Mast Cell Disease when: 

Nurses stare in disbelief as you recite a list of your allergies. 

And they can never all fit on just one red allergy wristband.

You keep the local drug stores in business.  

The dose directions on the back of antihistamine boxes do not apply to you. 

Everything stinks. 

Other people would not smell sh*t if it was shoved up their nose. 

You never have to buy blush again!! Your cheeks are forever flushed a shade of pink. 

Stop, drop, and roll does not work when it is your insides that are on fire.

You give a science lesson when asked to explain your disease. 

Histamine, prostaglandins, Diphenhydramine, and Loratadine are common terms in your vocabulary. 

You are the poster child for the EpiPen ads.

Bath and Body Works is your worst nightmare. 

And you run past Yankee Candle and Hollister while shopping at the mall. 

Well. That's swell-y. 

You second as a detective, searching for what triggers have changed. 

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner consist of the same two foods. 

You can chug dye free liquid Benadryl from the bottle and not be fazed. 

Friends are jealous of your tolerance. 

Hypoallergenic is another word for sorcery. 

A successful grocery store trip is when you do not get stuck in the checkout line behind the old woman that is wearing too much perfume.

You never leave your house without a VogMask. 

Bone pain is brutal. 

Treatments work...until they don't. 

Medical professionals think you are neurotic when you request preservative and filler free medications. 

"Is it really possible to react to that?" YES!!!

You know more than your doctors, yet you do not get paid for it. 

Cro-mo-lyn, for the win. 

You can relate to babies on a new level because you drink their formula. Yum, Elecare and Neocate Jr. 

Impending doom. 

ER runs and 125 mg of Solu-Medrol. Hello, moon face. 

During hospital admissions, you bring your own "safe" supplies. 

Bedtime prayer: "Now I lay me down to sleep / I pray the Lord my next co-pay's cheap / If I should die before I wake / I'll know that high histamine treat was a big mistake" 

You learn not to take the being alive for granted.

The good moments are cherished, faith strengthened.

Struggles reveal the friends and family that truly care.

You surround yourself with a loving support system.

You learn that life with Mast Cell Disease is hard, but not impossible!